New Computer Matches My Scanner

And it's not a good thing...

(Warning: Technobable Below!)
So my last computer I called Misha, kept up for 6 years (in computer terms, an eternity), finally had what I think is a Motherboard component issue. Rather than get Another AGP slotted motherboard and processor pair, and preserve my going-on two year obsolescence, I plunked down for a new computer. Trying to get a bargain, I picked up one with a PCI-E slot for the video card. Dubbed "Boomer" (I'm a BSG fanatic, so all computers I now own will be named after cylon models), I'm finding the parts are already a generation behind. At least there's compatibility with the next-gen components (Video Cards, RAM, etc.), but I'm still not up to date. Damn.
(End Technobable Geek-speak)

And now my aesthetic complaints:

While the Misha's case was still modern, it had some retro styling of gauges, vents everywhere, lit fans. Take a look: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16811144151

Modern, but not bad. Still would bear a little more brass and rivets to my taste, and a little bit less UV lighting. Still interesting. And far more dynamic than nearly anything else. Always got comments at LAN parties.

As for the new one. Well...

Kinda plain, don'cha think? When Did Technology go with hiding and anonymity? Seriously, even the sides are plain black lacquered steel. Not even worth the data to photograph.

This means I need to mod this girl. Brass or copper leaf, Rivets, and perhaps steam-looking vents mounted on the side intakes (they're only a perforated section of metal right now).

The sad part? It matches the HP scanner I got a couple months ago.



Slightly curved to be comforting, darker to nestle quietly in with the technology next to it. And the greatest selection I could ever make might be the color, so long as it's black. If you want a bold color choice, only on laptops and they've got to be disgustingly bright. Why are people afraid of technology that stands out, that's bolder in design? It's what's made Datamancer and Jake Von Slatt legends in the steampunk sub-culture.

I've even seen similar motions in architecture, where every good idea is pushed to abstraction. Realism is used as a joke, the architect satirizing himself ad his field. Look at Frank Gehry's fish or the idea of a Decorated Shed that comes up again and again in Robert Venturi's work. It's architecture with a point and a kind of depressing one. Why not a device that looks like a device, and not a block of barely featured, minimized, rationalized plastic?
You want something frightening, look at Industrial Design Finals. They're all blocks of near-featureless plastic. Then look at Architecture finals. All solid blocks of mass, looking like one piece. I saw an Architecture Professor rail at the condition of what was coming out of SciArch, one of the most prestigious schools in the field. And Why? Everything coming out was exactly this. Sometimes slightly different forms, but no one's willing to stand out. Even my last job was afraid of rocking the design boat, so to speak. Always Mass and Masonry. Give me the crap about budgetary concerns and value engineering the hell out of a design. It's cheaper to do less. And also far less fun and effective. My roommate has a great corporate poster: MEDIOCRITY: Takes a lot less work and no one will know the difference until it's too late.

I posit a question: You love your Ipod, but what do you do on that sad day when the battery no longer holds a charge? You send it in for them to replace the battery, because you won't. (You think it's can't, but you won't: you might void the warranty, you don't have the skills or tools to do so). And do they send the same one back to you after they charge you $60 to replace the battery? No: They send you a refurbished one, same model, same color, and don't care if you notice the difference. You didn't get your Ipod back. Do you love this one as much, now?



Anyone remember a Music box? Makes nice noise, cool little mechanism as a metal comb pings off of a finely crafted cylinder. What about making an MP3 player that resembles one? No abstraction, use the mechanism as the control system. Something more than color choices, please?! Please?! I am unafraid of looking like clockwork, unafraid of appealing to the senses,unafraid of appealing to the fascination with gadgetry, unafraid of material or boldness, Unafraid of something that looks spikey, blunt, riveted or screwed together. Makes me comforted to know it's held together with something substantial, and I could repair if it goes wrong. Features like that make it unique, make it stand out.

And so, as time goes by, Boomer will be reflecting my tastes and ideals. Functional dials and gauges, occulum bezels, flange-wheel adjustable fans and volume control will soon embelish her black, anonymous frame.. Take an idea, take an environment desirous of evocation and run with it. Be accused of doing too much instead of falling short. Venturi is oft quoted, "Less is a bore." Perhaps his thesis should be taken to heart. Let the design world shudder at my name. I am the Dynamo.

And so, carry that forth out into the world, kind readers. And remember, don't be mean; Because no matter where you go, There you are.